Matt vs. Life

Over the years, I've taken many photos of my son, Matt (now age 3), battling it out with various situations. Here are some of my best "Matt Vs." photos.

Matt vs. Gender Stereotypes. When your older sibling is a girl, it's inevitable.

Taking a manly stroll along the Bronx River Parkway.

He wanted the pink headband.

Matt vs. the Seasons. The kid loves the outdoors. But do the outdoors love him?

"Not sure what's happening here, but I like it."

Taking a dip in our private leaf pool.

Reluctantly gathering eggs at Stone Barns Center. 

"Matt vs. Citrus" at Showcase of Citrus in Orlando.
Matt won, but citrus had the last laugh.

Matt vs. Yoga. Guess not everyone finds it relaxing.

Matt vs. Yoda. A tie, it is.

Matt vs. Food. Because apparently food issues start at a young age.

Feeding time at the zoo.

Matt vs. Shake Shack

Matt vs. Momofuku chicken

Matt vs. Pat's Cheesesteak

The kid loves his tofu. He wouldn't wait for me to dig up a fork.

Cupcakes are his Achilles' heel. 

Cotton candy shouldn't be taller than your child.
But at Rye Playland it is.

Matt vs. Fate. So when a Korean child turns one (Matt is half Korean), he is presented with a huge party and a table that holds symbols of his future. Money = wealth, string = a long life, pencil = scholarly pursuits, etc. The baby is placed in front of the table and given the opportunity to choose an item. The first one he grabs is supposed to determine his fate. Guess which item Matt chose?

Five points to everyone who said pencil. Apparently we have a scholar in our midst ... which may be for the best. He'll need his wits about him to continue winning these battles in life. 

Cabbage Patch Kids

This past weekend we decided to go apple picking with a few other families, and after extensive research, we settled on trying out Lawrence Orchards in Newburgh, New York. We've been to several orchards in the past, including the popular Harvest Moon and Maskers, but we've found the former too crowded and the latter too boring for the kids (it's just straight-up apple picking). Lawrence, I'd heard, provides a good mix of children's activities as well as other fruits and vegetables to pick in addition to the apples.

It was all true. Lawrence was a blast. My kids went from picking apples to picking grapes, corn, broccoli, cabbage and kale. I realized that I've lived 35 years and never actually seen a corn stalk up close. Did you know that the cob grows on the bottom of the stalk? Well, now you know.

I'd also never picked broccoli before, or even seen a broccoli plant. Prior to this, if you'd told me in a very convincing manner that broccoli grew on trees, I might have believed you. But now I know better. I also had no idea that cabbage plants are enormous. Big enough to sit in, which my kids tried to do.

After we were all picked out, we moved onto the adorable "play village." The owners have built a section of wooden structures that include a fire station, an old-fashioned school house, a general store, a church, and more. The interior of each building is very detailed, and the kids just loved it. Leah spent almost an hour in the school house, holding forth as the teacher to a crowd of younger children.

It was a very pleasant way to spend a beautiful fall day. There are other kids' activities that we did not have time to experience, including a train ride, a maze, and farm animals on the premises. I will say that the prices of the produce are on the expensive side, and it costs $3 a person just to get in, but the money was well spent. There was also hot food sold on the premises, as well as the requisite apple cider donuts.

The Next Best Thing to a European Vacation

We live in Westchester County in New York, which provides plenty of scenic areas to visit, particularly if you're into farms, foliage, rivers and such. But whenever we get tired of all that bucolic goodness, we're happy to be situated so close to Manhattan and its wealth of (albeit grimier) activities.

The biggest problem with trekking into the city with kids is the logistics. Our preferred method of transportation is via car, but parking is always a hassle and costs the same as a week's worth of groceries (organic groceries, at that). Then there's the part where we walk around the city streets, which didn't seem like a big deal when I was working there every day, but now with kids in tow, all I see is a minefield of dog poop and trash and Citi Bikes. Still, I'm told that children actually live in the city – thrive in it, in fact – so once in awhile we make the trip out to experience all it has to offer.

So I got it into my head that I wanted my children to visit a museum to, you know, get cultured up. We'd been to the Natural History Museum several times already, and they love it, but we'd yet to visit an art museum. I'd been to the Met and MoMA as a kid, but only on school trips and only under duress. It wasn't until I was older that I began to appreciate museums, but even now, I never get the urge to go and soak in the arts. I blame it on the fact that I was practically raised a Philistine, and therefore never really developed a core appreciation for these things.

I wanted my children to be brought up on the arts, hence, the desire to introduce them to museums at an early age. My husband, Paul, thought this was a ridiculous idea, seeing as how the kids will tire of any situation in less than an hour, even when it specifically involves kid-friendly activities such as bouncy castles or ponies. How were they supposed to tolerate the hushed, hands-off environment of an art museum? It wasn't an unfair concern.

I turned to the Internet to help me figure out which art museum would best tolerate an invasion of small children. Most, I learned, would probably not tolerate it well at all. Finally, I settled on the Cloisters, which is a branch of the Met that's situated in Upper Manhattan and features medieval art and architecture. It seemed perfect – there were unicorn tapestries, gold treasures and outdoor gardens. And the museum itself looks like a castle. If ever there was an art museum geared toward small children, this was it.

We made the trip out on a beautiful, late-summer day, making sure to arrive when the museum opened. Because if there's anything I've learned from my five years of parenting, it's that when you go anywhere with kids, you go as early as possible. We'd have been at the Cloisters at 5 a.m. if they'd let us in. As it were, we arrived at 10 and found free parking right outside the main entrance. (The parking is limited, however, and completely filled by the time we left a couple of hours later.)

My kids liked venturing into the museum, which really does resemble a medieval castle (my daughter even mistook it for the Harry Potter ride at Universal Studios). There were many stone steps to climb and curved wooden doors to pull open. I pointed out all the stained-glass windows, introducing them as "really old sun catchers" (my kids are obsessed with painting sun catchers). We checked out the Unicorn tapestries first, which were amazing. They were much larger than I imagined, and I just couldn't believe that I was finally seeing them in person – and that they've always been located just half an hour from me.

Next we wandered into a beautiful chapel that housed the tombs of crusaders and counts. I didn't want to explain what a tomb was to my kids, and luckily neither of them asked. Leah seemed content to just sit in one of the rickety wooden chairs and stare up at the religious statues and tall stained-glass windows.

We also checked out the treasury room. I thought it was a lot of fun, with its gold goblets and brightly illustrated prayer books. I pointed out a medieval drinking straw to the kids; it was made of silver and appeared to even have a bendy feature, but upon closer examination, this proved to not be true.

After walking through a few more rooms, the kids were growing tired of the art, so we wandered out into one of the gardens. This was my favorite part of the Cloisters. It was like stepping into the European countryside. The herbs smelled fantastic.

The kids were re-energized by the sun and began making their way up and down the rows. Paul and I were free to examine the plants and their labels, which indicated that these types of plants were grown in medieval Europe for everything from food to art materials to medicines and poisons. It was truly fascinating.

We also enjoyed the views of the Hudson from the garden.

We concluded our trip to the Cloisters with – what else? – snack time, because God forbid we should go anywhere without a break for veggie chips. The kids sat down on the steps leading into the garden and munched away happily, unaware of the fact that they were on their way to becoming more refined and sophisticated citizens of the world. You're welcome, children.

The Proof is in the Pictures

It all started with this photo that I took of my kids, Leah (age 5) and Matt (3), at the Stamford Museum & Nature Center in Connecticut. The day was gorgeous, the kids were happy, the baby goats were like cartoon versions of themselves they were so cute, and I thought to myself, "I'm providing them a damn good childhood here. Too bad they won't remember any of it when they're teenagers and blaming me for everything that's going wrong in their lives."

But now they will remember it. All of it. Because I'm going to document every last moment of childhood joy and throw it in their faces when they try to accuse me of not providing them with enough love or attention or time or whatever. You gotta keep your bases covered, amirite, parents?

Here's another money shot, taken on the same day. Does it get more idyllic than this?

Of course, this whole plan could backfire on me, and the existence of this blog could become excellent fodder for my kids' therapists (whose bills I will surely be footing out of guilt). It all remains to be seen.

Anyway, for those looking to visit the Stamford Museum and Nature Center, I highly recommend it. We live in Westchester County, about twenty minutes away, and it was a breezy, scenic drive up the Merritt Parkway. This was our first trip, and I was impressed. Prior to this, our go-to farm has been Stone Barns in Tarrytown, but there was actually a lot more animal interaction at the Stamford Museum (and there's an actual museum, although we didn't have time to check it out).

The kids spent all their times feeding the baby goats, checking out the resident otters, and admiring the World's Cutest Bunny. I mean, all bunnies are cute, right? I've never met an ugly one. But this bunny was beyond the beyond, with his crazy-fluffy ears and hilariously bulging cheeks. This photo doesn't do it justice. If you saw this bunny in person I guarantee that you'd be making involuntary cooing sounds, as I did.

Also on site were other various farm animals (including free-roaming hens), vegetable gardens and beehives. There were even barns and silos. 

Oh, and did I mention the playground? The nature center has one of the largest, most awesome playgrounds my kids have ever experienced. It was certainly the largest, most awesome playground I have ever experienced. There were different sections to it, dozens of ramps, and this insanely long slide. I may have pushed a kid aside to try it out myself.

All in all, a lovely place ... a place where memories are made and childhoods are made happier. That should be their motto.